why wait?

I Heard that Kid Rock song about summer time on the radio today. It really got me thinking about all the summers of my twenties and how great they were. We weren't "smokin funny things" but we were free for the whole day long and who knew where that would end up. It was a great time...but it was a waste of time. About halfway through that song I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my son. I'm one of those people who waited until I was older to have kids. What a waste. Those were great days but those were some pretty lonely days too. Friends wouldn't be going out EVERY night. I wish I'd had my son sooner. What would I have missed? I think I would have been more driven and less indulgent. I made a rough estimate of the amount of money I spent indulging in hedonism over the course of 5 yrs I came up with an estimated $50,000.00 and that's being very forgiving. People say, "kids are expensive wait til you can afford them to have them." Well if I could afford to go out almost every night of the summer I could have afforded a kid, and it'da been way more meaningful, and a much more worthwhile investment. What I'm saying is I wish I would have had my son earlier. All those years could have been filled with love and wonder at a new life.

what would you have said?

The other day I attended a childrens function with my husband and baby. Baby needed a diaper change so off we headed. As I was walking into the ladies room (diaper in hand) I passed a few other mother's one of them watched me walk up then as i was passing she turns to the other mother and says in a very snotty tone, "shouldn't he be in pull-ups by now?" referring to my son. I just shook my head and blew it off thinking I wouldn't get in an argument about catty comments with a catty woman I didn't even know while carrying my child. Now I'm thinking what could I have said? I should have said something. Maybe, no lady my baby isn't even a yr and a half yet how the hell is he supposed to get on the pot? or maybe "i know our children where playing together and that mine is bigger than yours and surpasses yours developmentally in almost every way but he's really a good deal younger." or maybe just decked her. what do you think?

eye in the sky

I'm out shopping today for sunscreen to use on my hypo-allergenic beeauutiful baby. I've got a couple of recommendations on products that 'might' work. In the drugstore I found one of the products, and I also found the price on this 4 oz tube of sunscreen. I don't know why this product that contains way less components than a regular sunscreen costs more? Anyway I got to thinking that this product might not even be something that my baby can use so why buy it before i know? So I very sneakely looked up and down the aisle. no one was around. popped open tube and some squirted out and i dropped it. I momentarily froze thinking "this is it this is the moment when 'they' catch me and i'm on the news local mom caught stealing sunscreen while attempting to apply a dot to her childs cheek." how lame. Anyway. nobody came running around the corner so i applied my dot and continued to look for the other product. couldn't find it so i found a sales associate to help me locate it. We find it and this lady won't go away so i can do a spot of this product on the other cheek there by completing my allergy skin test. so i say to her, "well it's a lot of money for just sunscreen that might not work so i don't know if i wanna buy it. I mean i can't return it opened. (this one was sealed)." at which point she takes a step closer to me and replies, " well as long as you don't return it COMPLETELY empty I'm sure it's fine." with a sly smile on her face. so i guess security wasn't watching me from the eagle eye in the sky doin my spot test. they have bigger fish to fry.

Be Brave

That's what I thought as I walked into the swimsuit shop searching for this summers hottest I'm a mom who has stretchmarks swimsuit. I had spied a suit in this particular shops window a few weeks before and with a sigh said to myself, "two years a go i'da worn that." but not with this body not now. not after baby and all that. So today I walked into that store asked the very pretty very thin sales girl for yes that suit. She picked out a size for me sparing me the agony of flipping past the size 4 and the size 5 and yes past even the size 6 to one that she had eyeballed me into. We walked back to the changing room and there she left me with that two piece red number with the gold accents that i had fallen in love with through the store window just a few short weeks before. i stood there and stared at it. who did i think i was! what was i doing trying on a two piece? did i want to flash back for the rest of the day at myself in the mirror wearing a suit for someone who hasn't had a baby in florescent light!??! then this very pretty very thin sales girl knocks on the door!?! what was she thinking doesn't she know i need courage to see myself in this thing??? she says "is everything going alright" what does she know she's never had a baby. i grabbed that suit and just put it on. quick as i could. and that sales lady was back knocking on the door!! she wanted to see me in the suit!?? mortification. i opened the door. she gasps. shrieks! says oh my god that's great on you that's the one! i love her. i closed the door. and for the first time in two years took a good long look at myself ...... and smiled. i walked out of the dressing room and with my baby on my hip bought my red, daring, gold spangled, bikini.

Insight

Today the man came to fix the dishwasher. He fixes it then asks me if my dishwasher gets things clean. He tells me now listen to this part it's important. dishwashers are sometimes placed to far away from the water heater to supply water hot enough to clean anything. here's what happens you turn on your dishwasher water immediately starts filling it. it's cold water. yeah sure you set it on hot presoak but that water had no time to be heated before it reached your dishes so half way through the cycle maybe your water is lukewarm because it had to travel to far of a distance through the pipes it cooled off before it got to the washer so the water isn't hot until the end of the cycle when the water heater is good and pumping out the hot water which means your soap (which needs hot water to suds) didn't adequately suds which means you've basically just dunked your dishes in cold water, ran up your electric bill. Solution. turn on the faucet let it run til the water is as hot as it gets then start the washer and shut of the faucet and voila!! clean dishes. at this point I'm starring at the man with my mind flashing back over the years of hand washed dishes presoak, preclean, prewash to now at my age be told "hey lady you're doin it wrong."

this may seem trivial to some of you out there but if you're frustrated with your dishwasher that never seems to get anything clean.....hey you're doin it wrong.

Introduction

There are those moments in life where people wish they really had said something, and maybe if they had some aspect of life would be different or better somehow. I'm gonna write about my moments like that here...and other ramblings of course. About me. I'm a medical claims analyst turned stay at home mom and wife. Let me tell you the latter two of the three are much harder than the first. However the job title holds much more respect than "mom" or "wife" in our society doesn't it.?. and believe you me I've heard quite a bit more than i've ever wanted to about not "working". I remember working days and overtime. I wish someone would pay me overtime for this mom gig i tell you that.

My baby's adorable. Sometimes i look at him and i'm amazed. Right there in front of me is 50% of my own skin growing completely unattached to my body. That blood that's pumping through his veins is 50% literally my blood. He has beautiful eyes. People say, "oh look at those eyes!" when they see him. he has my eyes so i take that to mean they're inadvertently calling me beautiful. haha. so i say, "thank you." Sometimes he's all I talk or think about. I think if I don't get this parenting thing right this little adorable guy is gonna grow up and burn the house down.

I used to party a lot and run as free and wild as the wind. My hubby likes to run free like that too. For awhile we were running together. Now we're waiting. Waiting for Baby to grow up and run with us.