Be Brave

That's what I thought as I walked into the swimsuit shop searching for this summers hottest I'm a mom who has stretchmarks swimsuit. I had spied a suit in this particular shops window a few weeks before and with a sigh said to myself, "two years a go i'da worn that." but not with this body not now. not after baby and all that. So today I walked into that store asked the very pretty very thin sales girl for yes that suit. She picked out a size for me sparing me the agony of flipping past the size 4 and the size 5 and yes past even the size 6 to one that she had eyeballed me into. We walked back to the changing room and there she left me with that two piece red number with the gold accents that i had fallen in love with through the store window just a few short weeks before. i stood there and stared at it. who did i think i was! what was i doing trying on a two piece? did i want to flash back for the rest of the day at myself in the mirror wearing a suit for someone who hasn't had a baby in florescent light!??! then this very pretty very thin sales girl knocks on the door!?! what was she thinking doesn't she know i need courage to see myself in this thing??? she says "is everything going alright" what does she know she's never had a baby. i grabbed that suit and just put it on. quick as i could. and that sales lady was back knocking on the door!! she wanted to see me in the suit!?? mortification. i opened the door. she gasps. shrieks! says oh my god that's great on you that's the one! i love her. i closed the door. and for the first time in two years took a good long look at myself ...... and smiled. i walked out of the dressing room and with my baby on my hip bought my red, daring, gold spangled, bikini.